New Crossroads

I'm continually realizing my poor decision making and execution. My stability is the issue here. I refer to my employment security as well as my mental condition, and both teeter pretty hardcore.

I can see myself quitting or getting fired any day now. The job search must begin precisely after my scholarly obligations, mostly ending on August 5. So tedious all of my needs are.

I'm frustrated beyond words with most of the people I spend these 25 hours a week with. Very very upset. And unfortunately the best thing for me may be to get as far away from this situation as possible. Now, I'm on my 5th Pabst Blue Ribbon beer of the evening, since getting home from work 3 hours ago. Got a shower, feelin' fresh. Really pissed off my manager Karsten, the server Allisha, and others I'm sure. Though those two are lost causes for the most part, I still naturally feel guilt for my wrongdoings, and turning a manager against me who only a week ago was on my side, however worthless this sentiment may have been to carry through to any justice-- what the fuck ever, life is getting ugly. and serious.

Tonight I realized by mid-December, I will be able to tell people that I completed 30 credits this year. I will honestly be proud of myself. Giving myself worth beyond anything I've known before, certainly including my recent acquisition of confidence and somewhat tarnished ego that endures. Whatever can be said of it, I've deserved every measly ounce.

Also:

8/14/10 STS9, Lotus, The Album Leaf, John Hughes -- 5:30 doors, 6:00 show - 10:00?
8/14/10 Big Gigantic (members of STS9), Ghost Stepper (members of Lotus) -- 11:00 doors, 1:00-2:00 show
9/17/10 Omar Rodriguez-Lopez Group, Le Butcherettes
10/10/10 Gorillaz

weapons.

They're everywhere, man.